A League of Nations
by genericnamehere
Summary: The League of Nations vs. The Commonwealth of Evil in Breakfast of Doom.  Rus/Am, written for the russiamerica gift exchange. Utterly ridiculous.


A League of Nations

iIt was a typical, average day. It was a typical, average town. /i

"Halt there, evil doer! No one can escape from Captain America and his superfluous sidekick, The Boy Russia!"

A man dressed in a red, white, and blue jumpsuit jumped from one rooftop to the next. He was followed by a taller man, whose long scarf trailed behind him as he leapt after the other. "I am surprised Captain America knows that word, but I don't think you're using it right."

"Not now Boy Russia! The nefarious Maple Leaf is getting away with the maple syrup that was supposed to go the orphanage!"

iOkay. Typical may not be the best word. /i

"First it was the Tea Pot swindling the tea that was supposed to be for Bingo Night at the church, and now this? It seems something strange is going on, da?"

The spandexed crusader nodded in thought as he came to a stop, ignoring his nemesis as he somehow managed to ice skate away on the sidewalk below. It didn't seem to matter that it was the middle of summer and he was carrying a large case of sticky, sugary goodness under one arm. "Yes! You're right Boy Russia! It's almost as if the Commonwealth of Evil is planning a breakfast…of DOOM!"

The hapless sidekick sighed. "That doesn't even begin to make sense…"

iCertainly nothing average about any of this./i

With a swish of a star-bangled cape, Captain America turned, jumping down to the Freedomobile. "Onwards! To the League of Nations! We must hatch this egg before it's overeasy!"

The pitiable Boy Russia jumped down, climbing into the side hatch of vehicle. "I prefer them poached, personally."

iMeanwhile, back at the League of Nations…/i

The Yellow Apron hurried into the meeting room. "Captain America just reported! The Commonwealth of Evil has struck again! This time they took maple syrup from an orphanage!"

Doujinshi Boy looked from the latest yaoi doujin of Captain America and the Boy Russia he was drawing. "Not the orphanage! We must put a stop to their breakfast pilfering!"

"You're right!" The doors slammed open as Captain America burst into the room, followed shortly thereafter by the ever put upon Boy Russia, who was wondering (not for the first time) how he got roped into his situation. "But first, we must find out what their overall plan is!"

"BWAHAHA! I bet you would love to know that, wouldn't you old chap?" The League of Nations Justice Screen turned itself on, revealing a top hatted silhouette.

All the present members of the League of Nations gasped.

"The Tea Pot!" Captain America approached the screen. "Don't think you'll get away with this!"

"Ah, you daft bloke. I already have, and there's not a thing you can do about it!" The Tea Pot moved closer, out of the shadows he had been hiding in to reveal his large browed visage. "We're having a jolly happy time with our tea and the pancakes that the Frying Pan was kind enough to make for us. You could have had some, too. It's a shame you felt the need to leave the Commonwealth. You always were my favorite minion…"

Captain America slammed his fist down on the table. "We'll find you and put an end to your evil ways! The next breakfast you'll be eating will be behind bars!"

"America…" A hand reached over, snapping the sketchbook closed. "Your League of Nations comic didn't get published for reasons; a few of them. You need more than stick figures and stories about food to write successfully, da?"

America sighed, leaning back in his seat as Russia pulled the sketchbook away. "Well…Alaska likes them!" He looked at the young state, who had been lulled to sleep by the story.

"That is why he fell asleep during the first page." Russia pulled America up from his seat, kissing him lightly. "I'd much rather find out what is contained in Doujinshi Boy's comics of Captain America and Boy Russia."

America smiled as he slipped his arms around Russia's waist. "Well, for one, you find out there is nothing boyish about Russia under that costume at all." He pressed their lips together again, relishing in the shiver that ran down his spine as Russia nibbled on his bottom lip.

"Then why don't we go to Captain America's secret headquarters and you can tell me all about it."


End file.
